Unrequited- Alexia Jasmene

Unrequited

By Alexia Jasmene

 

The moment I laid eyes upon you, 

I felt like I already knew you,

Taking in your flowing hair,

Piercing eyes and an angelic voice that felt safe,

Wondering how this wondrous miracle could have happened.

You are beautiful,

You are lovely,

You are, perfect…

 

The moment I laid eyes upon you,

I was instantly doomed,

With a pedestal so high that not even the holiest of saints could reach,

Creating barriers and expectations that loomed like a super tsunami,

Waiting to crash and tear asunder my hopes and dreams of a perfect thing,

Inducing the never ending unrequited score of a crossed lover…

 

The moment I laid eyes upon you,

My minds eye began to override this shared existence,

Inventing phantoms of what could be,

Ensuring I would never be able to actually meet you…

 

The moment I laid eyes upon you,

I began to wonder if there is a pattern,

Habitually obsessing over the most perfect thing,

In order to punish myself and rub salt into acrid wounds so that they never heal…

 

The moment I laid eyes upon you,

I began being honest with myself,

Starring into the loathsome void of my hole

Feeling brave enough to just, let, go…

 

The moment I laid eyes upon you,

I began to see clearly how deserving I am,

How I am enough and I am loved…

 

The moment I laid eyes upon you,

I saw loving awareness that I am perfect where I am,

Radiating joy and purpose into our stream…

 

The moment I laid eyes upon you…

 

I realized it was the first time I was seeing me.